Not every chapter is good or great. In fact some just down right suck. There is heartache, turmoil, sadness, death. So many things can happen to us that make us think, 'Can't it just be over already?'
But isn't that the beauty of it? Being able to start a new? Make a new ending or a better beginning for yourself? I think so.
This year has had it's moments of greatness and down right terrible times. But I wouldn't change anything. I'm a better person and my new story is only beginning to unfold. Chapters have ended, pages have turned but my story is far from over. It's just the beginning.
Maybe just to go over somethings, December of 2011 I got engaged. January of 2012 I found the MOST PERFECT and BEAUTIFUL wedding dress. Ever. I also found out that very same day (after I had found and put a deposit down for the dress) that I was expecting. Told mine and Alex's family. Cried, thought I died a little inside, depressed, hurried, rushed. Just all these and more emotions were plaguing me. I was so upset and unhappy. I was upset because I had taken away the chance and opportunity for my mom and I to bond more over the course of planning the wedding. (She was never given the chance with my older sister. Mother-in-laws.....) I was sad because I wasn't going to get the wedding that I really wanted and had hoped for. Everything was happening way too fast. But I had acted like an adult now it was time to be an adult.
February of 2012 killed myself always working and trying to find the time to plan what little I could. And finally March of 2012 I was married. Not going to lie, I was happy that it was all over. No more planning no more stress no more mom crying... :(
But just remember: turn the page. After Alex and I were married we moved in together and that is when a new chapter began. Life was...okay? Personally WE had no problems but there were of course problems. (won't go into that but it was freaking HELL and I am glad it is over with) About a month after we got married I started cleaning house. (Only people really close to me will understand what I mean by that statement.) May of 2012 complete and utterly blissful happiness. (Only took two months to get.) Since May life has been just...wonderful. I cannot complain. I am finally stress free, I can enjoy my husband, my pregnancy, my home, my family. Life is perfect. Now I'm just waiting for my little Wyatt to get here! :)
Sometimes I really wish October would just get here but then I'm like...'No...because once he gets here life is forever going to change. I'm going to be a mom. I will be in charge of a precious little life. I will be in charge of raising him to be a good person to use his skills and talents.'
I'm still freaked out by this whole thing honestly. I still feel (I know) I am too young to be a mother!! I'm only 20!! There are so many things I want to do with my life. Having a baby isn't going to stop me, it'll take longer to reach my goals but that doesn't mean that I should stop. My life is just going at a speed I'm not totally comfortable with. I would be getting married in October, Alex and I wouldn't be having baby's until a year or two later. We would enjoy each others company. Get to know one another. Yes, we still do those things and I most definitely enjoy his company, we just have less time to do it. But hopefully by this time next year Alex Wyatt and I will be starting yet another new chapter. Getting sealed for all time and eternity in the Temple. :)
I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my days on earth and then after with my husband. I love him so much. He brings out with best in me. He handles and deals with my crap. We balance each other out perfectly. (I'm loud, he's quiet. I have enough backbone for the two of us. He is more sensitive than me sometimes.) Just all these things makes our personalities mesh together perfectly. Like two hands molded together.
Just remember to never close the book. Only to turn the page. Your story is never really over. Not even after death.
Until next time. :)
Sometimes I really wish October would just get here but then I'm like...'No...because once he gets here life is forever going to change. I'm going to be a mom. I will be in charge of a precious little life. I will be in charge of raising him to be a good person to use his skills and talents.'
I'm still freaked out by this whole thing honestly. I still feel (I know) I am too young to be a mother!! I'm only 20!! There are so many things I want to do with my life. Having a baby isn't going to stop me, it'll take longer to reach my goals but that doesn't mean that I should stop. My life is just going at a speed I'm not totally comfortable with. I would be getting married in October, Alex and I wouldn't be having baby's until a year or two later. We would enjoy each others company. Get to know one another. Yes, we still do those things and I most definitely enjoy his company, we just have less time to do it. But hopefully by this time next year Alex Wyatt and I will be starting yet another new chapter. Getting sealed for all time and eternity in the Temple. :)
I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my days on earth and then after with my husband. I love him so much. He brings out with best in me. He handles and deals with my crap. We balance each other out perfectly. (I'm loud, he's quiet. I have enough backbone for the two of us. He is more sensitive than me sometimes.) Just all these things makes our personalities mesh together perfectly. Like two hands molded together.
Just remember to never close the book. Only to turn the page. Your story is never really over. Not even after death.
Until next time. :)
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