The Big Reveal

So this past week I had my prenatal appointment. For some reason everytime I go to see my doctor I get nervous. I'm always afraid that they'll find something wrong with my baby. Especially since I had gotten I had gotten sick and still haven't completely gotten over it.
So once Alex and I arrived I checked in at the desk and went to the back to go to the bathroom, get weighed in and have my blood pressure checked. After that I went back out front and waited with Alex until our doctor was ready to see me. He was running behind on all his appointments that day so we seemed to wait -what seemed to me- forever.
When we were called back surprisingly we didn't have to wait for him to come see us. So as normal he asked me the standard questions. How was I feeling, has anything changed since my last appointment, etc etc.
I finally got on the bed and lifted up my shirt. I was so excited! I love hearing my baby's heartbeat and seeing him. It's always reassuring! So first my doctor measured his head. From there we found out I am a few days further than thought! I thought I was 13 weeks and 4 days but turns out I had already come up on 14 weeks! Whoo!!
After looking at the heart and spine my doctor started heading down towards the butt, that's when Alex and I looked away. I told him that if he could tell what the gender was we didn't want to know. He was kind of surprised but did as we asked. After he was done he left to go write the results down. When he came back he handed us a sealed envelope.
Okay fast forward to Sunday. That was the day we were having our gender reveal party! All of our friends and family were coming over to my home to find out what Alex and I were having. My best friend Cassie threw a beautiful party! Seriously. I loved everything about it. (besides the fact my front room couldn't hold everyone comfortably) She really brought mine and Alex's personalities into the decorations and food. I'm so grateful to have a friend who really knows me and puts her all into something that was important to both Alex and I. :) Love you Cassie!!
Okay so while most of the adults were upstairs in the front room chatting, the kids were in the kitchen eating and us cool people were downstairs watching the football game. Go Broncos! ;)
Finally it was time to gather everyone upstairs so we could cut the cake. I was getting so nervous! (for a split second I didn't want to cut the cake! I wasn't ready to find out!) So we first cut into the cake I still couldn't tell. When we cut into it again and pulled the knife out I caught a glimpse of the color! I screamed! I was SO excited! A BOY!!! Haha I'm more than sure I was the happiest one in the room. Everyone else (including Alex) wanted a girl. Me? I wanted a boy :) Of course my main priority is that the baby is healthy!!
Wyatt had no idea what the heck was going on. Haha that boy. He cracks me up!! I love him. I'm going to absolutely miss it just being him and me during the day. I know this sweet little addition will be welcomed warmly...maybe not by Wyatt..haha he doesn't think much of it so far.

Best. Straws. Ever! So cute!

Beautiful cupcakes!

Some of the party people!

My dad is so funny! *note my sarcasm*

Don't mind my asian eyes. I was crying :)

Getting excited! What is it?!?!

He doesn't understand what's going on but he's happy still.

Wyatt was tired. What a cutie. I love him!

We are great at cutting cake.

I caught a glimpse of the color!!

So those are some of the pictures that were taken. If you know me I love pictures but am terrible at taking them! I'm glad I at least have some to remember this special moment. <3

Having Peace and Happiness

Ever since I found out I have been waiting to write this post! I just can't believe it! Ever since my miscarriage I really haven't been myself. Losing something so precious to me really shook me to my core. And although I will always remember those feelings right now I am reeling in the news. I am somewhat at peace. I am happy. Right after my miscarriage I was truly blessed with another miracle. I can't even tell you how surprised I was to find out the news. I didn't understand how I could get pregnant again so fast!
I took a Clear Blue pregnancy test. The new one that gives you weeks estimated. I was SO surprised by what I saw on that little screen. 3+ weeks. And on the paper that comes in the box it said that the doctor would probably put you at at least 5 weeks.
When I called my doctor to make an appointment I had to wait little over a month. Holy crap. My doctor is popular! Alex and I went in today and I was surprised. There were two babies!!...Haha no. Just kidding. Phew! I have no idea how I'd handle being pregnant with two little ones! No, but really I was just surprised at far along I am. 9 weeks and 1 day. I cried practically the entire time in the doctors office. I am so happy!! It was such a huge relief to me to hear the babies heart beat. I can't tell you how scared I was. That miscarriage really put some bad thoughts into my head. And although I am still worried I know that my baby is okay and healthy. And I will do anything to keep it that way.
So my appointment next month, we might be able to see what the sex is!! Exciting!! I will keep this blog updated as much as I can!

I will have to post another picture with Wyatt. Poor little guy was absolutely exhausted and wouldn't sit still for a picture together. 

My little peanut! The picture is sideways but you can see the little legs are starting to form. As well as the arms but they aren't so clear here. Love this little one already!

Loss

So it's been long decided that I am a terrible blogger. I forgot I even had a blog! (yes, it's been that long) 

I've had a lot on my mind lately. From the title of this post not everything has been good or happy.. There has been heartbreak and sadness.

Only a select few people know this but I've decided to share with my blogging friends. Over a month ago I found out that I was expecting. You can't understand how happy I was! I could barely contain myself,  I told Alex the next day. His response was quite funny. ( I had turned my camera on so I could record me telling him the good news.) 

Me: "I've got something to tell you.."

Alex: "Oh shit, you're pregnant."

Me: "...I am."

Alex: "What? How?!"

Me: "We had sex!!"

Hahaha! It really was funny. He was quite excited about the news. But I guess it wasn't meant to be...three days later I miscarried. It was the most horrible experience. The pain was a sick reminder of what I had lost and what I wasn't. I felt so heartsick. I wanted that baby. I had already loved him or her. How could you NOT love something that was made between two people who loved each other more than life? 

Kind of ironic. I found out the same day that Alex, Wyatt and I were going to a friend's gender reveal party. It was so bittersweet. I was so happy for my friends, but I was so sad for my own loss. 

Alex told me something he heard and had impacted him while listening to conference. Just because I wanted something doesn't mean the Lord has the same plans. He knows what's in store for me and what is best for me. 

And although it helped to hear that it was still hard to hear it. Even though I wasn't pregnant long I lost something so precious to me. But I know in the next life I will meet and come to know that person I very briefly carried in my womb. 

This is the life

    Have you ever been in just complete utter happiness? Because that is what I am experiencing as of late. I love my family, my life, myself, everything! Why haven't I felt this way my entire life? Why did I have to complicate things so much?! Either way life is going great. I finally feel joy.
     So I think it was about a month ago now my family and I had a great photo shoot with my dearest friend Melinda. We went to Memory Grove and had a great time! I didn't realize how hard it would be to take pictures with with a 6 month old. He did a great job though!
       So this will be a short entry but I wanted to leave you with the beautiful pictures Melinda captured.

Good News; No. Great News; Getting Closer. Awesome/Epic/Fantastic News?! YES!!!!

     I have THE BEST news ever!! I can't even tell you all how happy I am for my family and I. This past Sunday Alex and I had a temple class. We went over our homework that our Bishop had given us. -He said that he has never felt compelled to give those he was teaching homework. But for some reason he was compelled to give us this assignment.- He had given us scriptures to read. We read about Premortal Life, The Fall, Mortal Life, Death & Resurrection and Kingdoms of Glory. (If you are interested in the scriptures just let me know. They are great and they give you some insight into everything.)

After some discussion our Bishop told us that at the earliest we could be at the temple was late July!! How exciting!! After Alex and I talked we agreed on the date August 8th! Oh my goodness!! I am getting so excited just typing about this! I'm also getting nervous..There is so much to learn! 

    I wanted to thank everyone who has been with my family and I through this journey. It has been the hardest but most rewarding journey we have ever been on. 

I think before this happened my eyes weren't necessarily closed but they were shrouded, had a film over them. Well not anymore! My eyes are wide open and I definitely welcome the change of view. I love that I now have Christ at the center of my life. I love that the spirit resides in my home. I am HAPPY!
     I can't wait to have our next lesson. I can't wait to learn more about the temple and everything it stands for! Oh my gosh. You probably think I'm some sort of freak now...But the fact is that I finally found something that makes me incredibly happy. I feel worthy...and if you've ever experienced a lick of sin and temptation you know how awful and sick you feel when you do something you know is wrong but can't seem to get out of it's tight grip!
    Going on two ago now I found a dress. The most beautiful dress. I finally get to have the dress I've always wanted. The dress I've always been waiting for. I feel worthy to wear this dress. This beautiful white dress. It's amazing what a simple piece of garment can do for you, how it can make you feel.
    So there you have it! My totally awesome, epic, fantastic news! August 8, 2013 is our date for our sealing! WHOO!! :)

My Hubby

Out of all the men in the ENTIRE WORLD I have THE BEST one. Ever. The end. Period. No more talk. Lol So who in their right mind would stay up late to make their wives a skirt? Mine! I found a tutorial on Pinterest and I just had to try it. Had to. I had asked him to help me with some of the steps but he actually just ended up doing the whole thing. Haha! And he did a fabulous job. Seriously. I am in love with my skirt..and husband!
Now since this was our first time doing this it took a little while. Like three hours, okay more than three hours. As I'm typing this he is is sewing away!
Besides the fact that he is making me a skirt there are many more reasons why he is simply the best.
My number one is that it takes a real man to step up to the plate when there is a child involved. Instead of being scared and running away from me and the situation he ran TO me. -As some of you may know we got pregnant before we were married. Our original date was in October but we had to move up the date.- He picked our wedding date and simply took care of me.
Second, besides my father I've never known such a hard working man. Alex goes above and beyond when it comes to taking care and supporting his family. Seriously. Even though financially we are doing more then good he has talked about getting a second job.
Third, he asked me to stay home to care for our little one. He wants me to be a stay at home mommy. Instead of going back to work after maternity leave I get to stay home and watch my baby grow up. That is simply the best and most wonderful blessing I could ever have. I am incredibly thankful and grateful for the opportunity. I definitely don't take it for granted. It's a blessing that so many women wish they had.
Fourth, he is the most kind and loving person. A lot of the time my personality can be the like a rock. Hard and void. I'm not the most sensitive person. So that's something that he brings to the table and makes me think about.
Honestly, I could just go on and on. But I think it's time for bed. I promised Alex I would scratch his back. I will post pictures later of the skirt me made! :) Until next time all.

Time

So lately I have been more aware of time. How fast time goes by. How much time has gone by. How (dare I say it?) little time there is. Do you ever think about time? I'm constantly thinking about it. Ever since I became a mommy I can't help but keep track of it. Now that I have more responsibilities I have to. I've got doctors appointments, dinners, dates, family, friends. Just a calender full of things to be done and places to go.
 In eight days Wyatt will be six months old. Do you know how scary that is?? It's terrifying! My baby won't be a baby soon(ish). I can't believe it's been six months since I gave birth to that sweet spirit. It certainly doesn't feel like it's been half a year. I can't remember what life was like before he got here. He is my universe. I'm always thinking about him.
Time. It's a worrisome thing. I'm afraid that I'll never have enough. That I'll never get enough. I just want to spend every minute of everyday with the ones I love. It's a blessing each day that I wake up. God has given me another day, more time to be with those who matter most to me. And for that I am always grateful.